Coming into a treatment centre it means you’ve identified that you want help which is great. It’s the bravest thing that any person I feel can do so well done for that. Coming into treatment out of addiction rehab you are a vulnerable person, you are coming because there are pieces of your life that may be missing, that you may be can’t deal with life on life’s terms and you are struggling with day-to-day life. So, well done for getting yourself into treatment and asking for the help that you so rightly deserve. So there is need to use rehab addiction centers.
When you come into treatment normally as a vulnerable adult that comes with emotions that may not have been expressed for some time, feelings that you don’t know how to express, and it can be a very, very emotional and confusing time to begin with. So whilst in that confusion of what is my life going to be like, what am I going to do here, all the very normal thoughts and reasoning that we go through while in treatment, normally what we would do from that is we would use drugs, alcohol, we would do something to suppress those feelings because that is our coping mechanism, that is what we do to cope with life, that is what you do to cope with life on life’s terms.
So it’s very, very common for men and women to start looking for other things external of themselves to fix that feeling and in treatment you don’t have access to drugs and alcohol so therefore it’s very, very common for you to start fixing on people. Romantic relationships blossom in treatment quite regularly simply because you don’t have access to your normal, usual way of suppressing those feelings. These are where romantic relationships are blossoming and this is highly, highly dangerous for the individual in treatment. So this is a chance for you as an individual, to grow, to learn, to process and to get out any of that stuff that you’ve been carrying around probably for many years and which you have used drugs off, which you have tried to suppress.
This is an opportunity for you to learn and grow in this area and I would really strongly recommend that you use it wisely. By getting into a romantic relationship it actually lights up the same part of the brain is when you are using drugs or alcohol, it’s exactly the same receptors, it’s the same reward centre in the brain, so you are fixing your feelings so therefore you are still really using drugs through people. The chances of relapse is tripled once getting into a relationship whilst you’re in treatment simply because of the reward centre.
Reasons for Treatment
You are not focusing on treatment, you are not focusing on the real reason why you have come to treatment, you actually start to focus on the other person because they are fixing those feelings, so they become your new drug. This is really, really important, what if to say the other person was to relapse, what if to say that this other person was to abscond from treatment, how would you be left feeling? How would you be left, in more pain which you’d want to suppress even more and now you have nothing else to suppress those feelings so therefore it is heightened where you may abscond from rehab yourself and you may relapse. Your ability to make good, sound choices is compromised once you get into a romantic relationship because the focus isn’t on you.
Recovery is about self-discovery, it’s a journey of this amazing, amazing self-discovery that you have access to if you concentrate on yourself. So it is recommended not to get into a relationship for the first year of your recovery and there’s a reason for that, because you’re going to learn skills, you’re going to learn tools, you’re going to learn how to self-regulate emotions and feelings. You’re going to be going to meetings, making new connections, you’re going to start to develop social skills for the right reasons this time. So if you don’t know how to practice all that already and you’re not giving yourself a chance for the first years in your recovery then what chance have you have surviving your recovery, because this person, this relationship, is only a deterrent away from what the problem actually is and that lies within. Also getting into relationships in recovery can also be an avoidance of self.
People like to take care of other people in order to avoid what’s actually going on for them, so if I just look after this person over here then I don’t have to look at actually was going on for me, and I really do acknowledge how scary it is to feel feelings, I acknowledge how scary it is to express feelings, fear of being judged, all the fear that surrounds you feeling and expressing for the first time in probably a long time, I acknowledge that. However that is highly, highly important for you to learn to do that in order for you to have a successful recovery and not avoid with other people. You come first in your recovery, so be careful, try not to use other people’s vulnerabilities to fix your feelings and don’t allow somebody to fix off your vulnerability either. Remember you are here for you, you come first in your recovery. You have to put yourself first the right reasons probably for the first time in a long time. So please if you’re thinking about getting into a relationship in recovery very early on or in treatment remember why you’re here, remember that it starts with you.