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Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation

A Therapist Answers Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask

A Therapist Answers Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask

– I’m Dr. Sam Rader. I’m a licensed clinical psychologist, and I’m going to be answering some of your mental health questions. (pleasant music) In my understanding,
personality isn’t something you’re necessarily born with. It’s something that gets shaped
through early experience. We learn what parts of us feel acceptable in our family system,
what parts of us feel unacceptable, and we adjust
all the parts of ourselves to shape into a personality
that’s gonna fit in our family system. And what I do as clinical psychologist, is I help my clients look
at their personality. For example, if someone’s really shy, we try to understand
what that’s really about, and see if we can find more confidence. (pleasant music) Clinically speaking,
something becomes a disorder when it starts really getting in the way of you being able to function as a person in relationships, at work. Then yeah, it might be some
kind of anxiety disorder, and you might wanna seek treatment. Otherwise, if you’re able to
have a fairly normal life, but big waves of anxiety
come now and then. All I can say is, join the club. It’s normal to have some anxiety sometime. It’s really great though,
to have some practices to know how to self soothe
when you have that anxiety. (upbeat music) I’m just gonna go with, no. How ’bout not talking about
my friends with my friends? You know how much better
if feels to not gossip? So yes, the sacredness of
protecting the confidentiality of my clients comes first. And I’m learning from that
how sacred it might be in my life outside of here to keep confidence in friendships. (pleasant music) When tears just spill out for seemingly no apparent reason, my best guess at why that’s happening is that maybe feelings have been held inside too often. When we go for days or weeks or months with not expressing
ourselves, not reaching out when we need help, not
getting enough hugs, sometimes we can fill up like a bucket, and when that emotion bucket
gets all the way to the top, the water is going to spill out. And that’s gonna spill out in
the form of tears sometimes, even when it makes no
sense why we’re crying. (pleasant music) There’s so much less of a
stigma around depression now. It’s probably safe to tell most employers if you’re suffering with it. Especially if that will
help them understand if things are changing a
little bit in your work style. There’s no shame in
asking for what you need, and ultimately your
employer, if they’re someone who’s a good business
person, will be really happy that they know what’s
going on, because then they can help support you in
continuing to do good work. (upbeat music) Well, whoever you are,
I adore you, and I agree with you completely. Touch is so healing. I have a lot of answers to this question. The first is that maybe even
massage is enough for you, who really knows how to
hit all those sweet spots. In terms of traditional
therapy, it’s often frowned upon to touch your clients. There is a style of therapy
that’s really wonderful, called Somatic Experiencing. In one of the types of
Somatic Experiencing, touch is used as part of the therapy. So Somatic Experiencing
is basically sitting, sensing into your body,
noticing what you feel where, and allowing the body to heal
itself; whether it’s trauma, or pain, emotionally or physically. (pleasant music) That question has a lot
going on inside of it. I have taken many, many
clients who swear up and down they have incurable depression, and we get them feeling better. If there’s a way to latch back on to life, there’s a way to come out of depression. But if you have a stubborn
depression, I encourage you to keep fighting for wellness. We’ve all been in those dark moments. It’s just a state of mind
because you are loved, you are cared about, and
that somebody wants to hear from you today if you’re
struggling with suicidal thoughts. (pleasant music) What people imagine is going on in therapy is that it’s gotta be very clinical. They’re my doctor, and I have to sort of, not tell them what I’m thinking
and feeling about them. Most of the work that I do with my clients is in the transference,
which is the relationship between myself and the client. So if a client came in
and said, hey, this isn’t working for me, I don’t like
the way you’re doing this, I would think, Yeah! Jackpot, we’re really gonna get somewhere. Because if we’re able to
talk about our relationship, what’s going on between us,
how it feels, what they like about what I’m doing,
what they don’t like about what I’m doing. This might be the beginning
of a really exciting time of growth with your therapist. So if all else fails,
and you’re really sure it’s not a match for you,
you can just let them know, and say, thanks for our time
together, I’m clear that you and I are not a match. I wish you all the best and this will be my last session today. I think it’s so cool
that we live in a time where people are becoming
more and more aware of mental health. There are countless self
help books out there, resources on the internet,
even apps that can help you with depression. Find ways to get back out into your life. Have real genuine experiences. Share your feelings. Laugh, dance, sing, cry. This is life. A lot of clients ask me if
it’s possible to change. And in my experience the
answer is absolutely, yes. (signal ding) (laughs) Ding! (upbeat music)

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