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Is TRAUMA THERAPY possible if we DISSOCIATE? | Kati Morton

Is TRAUMA THERAPY possible if we DISSOCIATE? | Kati Morton

Hey everybody thanks for checking back I have Dr. Alexa Altman here with me and we’re doing a series of videos about trauma, trauma therapy, all the things that entails. So if you haven’t subscribed make sure that you do and if you haven’t watched our other videos together please do that first because we’re kind of building on them as we work through it. *music* And today’s topic is: can we do trauma therapy if we struggle with dissociation? And I know that a lot of you have told me that you struggle with dissociation, and you wonder if you can even participate at all are there different types? – yup – and.. I don’t know. so, Alexa is going to share her expertise! I love this question because the answer is a big yes and specifically I will be on the lookout for a therapist who specializes in trauma, because dissociation, if you’re prone to dissociative symptoms, traditional talk therapy might not be the best strategy for you – Okay – and here’s why: you can participate if you dissociate. Primarily the beginning phase of trauma therapy is precisely to help your nervous system feel safe in the present moment. And that’s phase one. So it’s almost like you get to bring your dissociative symptoms into a room and get help and support and just being able to be more present, to feel safe in your body, before you even move into the trauma work. That is phase one of trauma therapy. So the reason I think it’s really useful is sometimes just talking about your dissociative symptoms don’t bring nervous system change, and that can be really frustrating for people because they can talk about their symptoms, they can talk about what happened but it’s almost like they’re talking about somebody else. – I find it really interesting because I do talk therapy and this is actually why I refer out to people like Alexa. When my clients really struggle with dissociation, is that if they can’t really be present, and there’s nothing that I can talk them through, – that’s right and if they’re not even able to connect because it feels like somebody else – yes – we honestly, just, our, like progress is stopped and we’re at a standstill and so I find the reason I do refer out is if I find myself with the client kind of stuck in a cycle like that like a hamster in a wheel like okay we can only get this far, because you aren’t able to participate and I can’t do anything to help me because I’m not trained in that. – Its a really good point, because, I think what Kati is saying is, when we’re in that dissociative state, the way we talked about in other videos was like that freeze, right, that fight flight and then there’s that freeze state, so it’s like part of our system is off line. And so, the part that’s offline is often verbal part. Even if we’re talking, right? – But I’ve had whole sessions where they either won’t remember what we talked about, or there will be bouts where they can’t speak it all. – Yeah, god, it’s so frustrating the client too, right? So I’m like ‘god, that is so frustrating,” and you’re thinking ‘Is. Therapy. Helping?’ – Yes. And what am I doing here? And if I can’t talk… – How and I going to get better? And so, I would say like “Okay, bring your dissociation into session,” and what you can look for, to know that things are moving in the right direction, And it’s not going to happen instantly. – No. It takes times like everything, right? – and, I wish l could give you a timeline ” oh it’s this number,” every person is unique but what you can start to look for, is “Wow, I was aware of, maybe the colors in the office,” or “I saw that plant for the first time” or “I actually know, you know, what the therapist was wearing” so more things come into awareness or, like, ” Hey, Alexa, when I left your office I actually greeted somebody on the street.” So you start to notice your surroundings a little bit more. You maybe, throughout the day, maybe even get a sense of, noticing your own bodily state, like I worked with somebody who was like, “Wait, I noticed feeling hungry, I haven’t felt hungry in a long time.” – Interesting, yeah. – So you might become more aware of your bodily states, maybe when you’re going around your day, you have more thoughts about your day because you feel like you’re in it more So, I think, looking for cues, or signals in the session or outside of your sessions, that you’re in your surroundings a little bit more some of the indicators, that you’re coming back. Can I give a few more examples? – Of course. Like what working with dissociation looks like, In an office? So it might look like Orienting. And orienting is moving your neck, and your head, and your eyes, right? Like and sometimes I’ll have people do it really exaggerated, like can you actually move your neck as you look around the room like this. So that activates that attachment, social engagement system that we talked about that in our earlier video, right? And look with your eyes, and really helping a person coming into focus about, in the office so we’re really working to establish safety in the office and safety with the therapist. – Yeah. And I think that’s why it’s so important that if you are struggling with trauma and dissociation, to make sure you see a specialist and see someone like Alexa because you can start out with someone like me but there’s going to become a, we’re going to come to a place where we can’t, maybe we can’t move forward, there’s limitations to that and I think having people who understand how to bring you back what are signs of you coming back, and how to best manage it. – Yeah. And if you’re working with a therapist you really like that, maybe they don’t have this training, you might want to share with them some of the skills that you’re learning through these videos or we’re going to give you a site to log on to if you want to know more about trauma therapy, so you can get some of those books, bring that also to your therapist maybe there’s some skills some very easy skills to help you come back into the present moment that you can integrate into the therapy that you’re doing. – Yeah because all therapists usually they’re worth their salt at all it’s like, they will try to learn it they’ll try to work with you in session, and try to better help you, because that’s our whole goal! In a nut shell, then, I guess the answer is: yes, we can participate in therapy even if we struggle with dissociation. – yeah – but the main point being that, it’d really be in your best interest to see a trauma specialist, and I think that that’s an important factor to take into consideration when you’re looking for a therapist. I know not all of you have the choice. I know many of you are just given a therapist, in a lot of countries force like CBT, as the only treatment. But just recognizing that there are differences and we do have limitations. We’re humans too. We only have specific trainings, and things that we treat and don’t treat Another thing to remember is that you actually can ask a therapist for their resume, you can ask them for their trainings and specialization and the funny thing, Alexa and I were just talking, and no one’s ever really asked us that. – Never. Never asked. And I think that it’s really important because you’re going to look for someone who specialize in the certain thing that you’re wanting to work on don’t just go from offline where it says what they specialize in. People will list a whole bunch of things but I would try to find someone who actually has proper training and current training, because we have to do our CEUs, continuing education units, where we continue to be educated about all things therapy related. We have to do those every, every year. Essentially, every two years, we have 36 we’re accountable for. – Yep – and so ask it’s best to be informed to find the right person for you. Thank you so much for sitting down with us and sharing your expertise and like I said, if you haven’t subscribed, click over here turn on your notifications because we’ve done a bunch of videos together and each one’s building on the next, and you don’t want to miss them! And we will see you next time, bye!

99 thoughts on “Is TRAUMA THERAPY possible if we DISSOCIATE? | Kati Morton

  1. interesting.. what do you think about someone seeing a psychiatrist that studied psychoanalysis and does psychodynamic psychotherapy? thats what im receiving for my CPTSD. I had trauma for 24 years (emotional/verbal abuse) 5:56 thank you i really like this psychiatrist i want to keep her & try to work it out in session

  2. thankyou for making this video. ìt has helped clarify why my old psychologist said that CBT wasnt going to be helpful for me. she is sometimes our issues can be too complex for CBT. i always thought she was trying to just fob me off but i guess she was being honest.

  3. What would you suggest in trauma/structural dissociation therapy when a client goes through phases of talking but not really feeling stuff. I feel like I'm trying but there's a block in internal communication and ability to really look at things (anything!), so sessions just skim the surface and don't really get anywhere or shift anything.

  4. I was diagnosed with ptsd, mdd, dissociative disorder and anxiety!
    How in the world will I ever have
    another normal day in my life?!😢😳

  5. this helps me to understand some of what I've been experiencing. this had encouraged me to hang in there. I didn't see a list of reading materials or websites. when or where csn i find that?

  6. I have depersonalization disorder and I've been doing EMDR therapy for quite a while now and it has been really effective so far! I would definitely recommend it to people with dissociation disorders that resulted from trauma.

  7. Dissociation used to be my worst symptom. I thought I was always tired and unmotivated. I thought it was a diet problem or a medical condition. Once I learned that it was dissociation everything changed. It was now something I could work on and now it's barely even a problem. Thanks for the video!

  8. So you know Dissociation? It's my best friend, or so it seems. We spend a lot of time together.

    My trauma therapist and I have found a way for her to "join" me wherever it is that I go when I dissociate in her office, so it's not a totally useless, defensive check-out. I'm pretty astute and step outside myself often in order to analyze dispassionately, but I really don't know how we developed this; I'm sure she knows, though.

    So yeah, in my experience as a client who is an adult survivor of chronic childhood trauma, it is possible to make progress in trauma therapy even when dissociation is a regular thing.

  9. Oh my gosh we were just talking about this in a forum. How talk therapy doesn't help when you dissociate. When does a T realize this is an issue though? It's horrible for clients!!!

  10. Would a T say you were "not ready for therapy" if this happened? I have so many questions now. I walk out of the sessions not having a clue what most of the session was about, then I have a panic attack because that overwhelms me. At first I didn't think anyone could see that I was dissociating, the one T called me out on it and I was devastated that others could see this in me and I didn't even know it was happening until it was almost over. I'm glad she told me though. From there on out she would ask "are you with me?" when she felt I was wondering off, and I would come back as much as I could and try to be present. It's not something you can just turn off and on though. There was usually a foggy period afterwards where all you want to do to go lay dawn and sleep. That has lasted for a few days before, depending on how deep I get in the dissociating. Does this make sense?

  11. Is it possible to dissociate when certain topics come up but not all the time? Sometimes I find myself dissociating more when difficult issues come up in therapy.

  12. This explains exactly what I was experiencing during the last year of therapy! WOW! Yet another awesome video! Thank you!!

  13. I have had an EXTREMELY hard time finding a counselor who can help with dissociation. I have had counselors tell me they can't treat me. I have been to five since I moved here last year. I am so glad they tell me that they aren't qualified, but I sure wish I could find someone qualified! It is a scary feeling when you have done so much to help yourself, but yet you feel like something is really wrong with you because you can't find a counselor specialized enough in trauma and dissociation. I found one counselor, but she is only out of pocket. I am probably going to have to try to figure out how I could pay that. I live in the Orlando area you would think there would be a lot of qualified counselors or psychologists here! Any advice on how to find someone that is qualified?

  14. Thank you so much Dr. Alexa!!! You are so intelligent and am so excited to be able to learn from you. Hope to find a counselor like you soon.

  15. Thank you so much Kati! This is the best series you've done so far. 💜 sometimes I don't feel like I'm telling the truth when I'm talking about my past trauma, is this normal?

  16. My therapist always used to blind side me with really side ways questions that had nothing to do with what we were doing in a session to bring me back to the room if I started to disassociate I'd be talking about something really uncomfortable starting to space it and she'd be like what did you have for breakfast this morning or what music were you listening to in the lobby and be like "wait what" and then I'd be out of auto pilot because I'd have to think about the question

  17. I've been diagnosed with dissociation, but I'm not in therapy at the moment. Some of the descriptions and examples made me wonder, though. I'm horrible at remembering people's names; I just can't do it. I've always assumed it's because I'm an idiot of some sort. The video talked about dissociation's effect on language–could dissociation have some sort of effect my ability to store and retrieve names?

  18. I was always misdiagnosed, Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder Borderline Type then the same with Impulsive type, then one that says no signs of borderline at all and I actually have Anxious Avoidant Personality Disorder, then when I finally saw a trauma therapist and a psychiatrist (both working at a centre for trauma and dissociation) and got the courage to mention my symptoms and things like that, after a while, I got diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. And only since I got the right therapy, things are finally slowly improving. So yes, if you deal with any kind of dissociation, from my experience, a trauma therapist is probably best for that

  19. I used to draw a lot when I was younger – drawing things I could see around me… I imagine that would be really good for tackling dissociation. I even used to say to people that it was more about trying to draw something accurately rather than drawing what I think I see. I haven't drawn in a long time and, yeh, I pretty much have dissociation (I wasn't present in therapy – though it was better than nothing). Maybe this is bad to say, but I feel dissociation is the only way to get by. This feeds back into a lot of things I have been thinking about regarding poor motivation at the moment – I would find it very difficult to draw something "Just Because"… It's like quite a lot of personal resources to use – I'd do it for money. It's almost like I don't have any memories? – everything is always about the function of doing something… it's like I've picked up that way of thinking after years of having to do it. Is the idea that we have deep memories? – that although we may, for example, be doing something for our boss at work, we are actually serving an association in our subconscious with a family member from our childhood maybe that we built a habit to. It's like I'm always (to exagerate) "Well, whose this guy? – oh, he's the one who could get me fired."

  20. thx for this awesomely ha bisky vid i loved this so much i dont need this therapy but i love learning about it and some tricks that can help people who do

  21. Such a great video, these videos are so so helpful. Thank you so much Kati and Alexa, you are both fantastic at what you do. xoxo

  22. Can you ask Dr. Altman about her experience working as a consulting psychologist on The Biggest Loser? I'm curious to know what her role was on that show.

  23. I have suddenly realised why I came to a standstill in talking therapy. I didn't know dissociation was about talking about traumatic situations feeling like it has happened to someone else. So many people have said that when I'm talking about trauma it's descriptive but my emotional signals I'm giving don't seem to match the seriousness of the trauma.
    Think I now need to look into specific trauma therapy. Thanks to the video

  24. My therapist has been super awesome about this. I get super anxious around certain topics and just freeze so she would just say, "ok, let's stop. Let's look around the room and find everything that's red. Now find everything that's green." And we do that until I can calm down. I find the best thing is stopping immediately when you feel even the slightest bit of anxiety (or I guess it could work with dissociation too) and then calming down, and then getting back into it.

  25. Thank you soooo much for these videos Kati!! I LOVE the trauma videos you've been doing with Alexa! I really wish I lived in your area to see her. I live in the middle of nowhere and therapists in general (let alone a SPECIALIST) is near impossible!! Thank you though Kati!! I LOVE the trauma videos! They've really helped me to better understand what I'm going through. Especially this one on dissociation!! Thank you, thank you!! I'm so glad to be able to support you on both Patreon and YouNow so you can continue to make these videos for the mental health community! Take care! You're too awesome!
    ~Jennifer A. (YouNow)
    ~JJ95 (Patreon)

  26. Hey Kati, thank you for all you do.
    just wondering, in a two person relationship can both people be enabling the other for unhealthy things at different times?
    thank you

  27. Can you please make a video of a comparison of Bipolar Disorder I (Manic Episode), Maladaptive Daydreaming, and Dissociative Identity Disorder (or alters)? They seem to be the same disorder described by different person except that Maladaptive Daydreaming makes you have emotional ties with characters of the dream, which is intelligible.

    Can you even have two or more of these disorders at the same time?

  28. Hey, Kati, I have a friend who just texted me saying she started using cutting as a coping tool. Is there any advice I can give her, or something I can do to help. Problem is, she resent moved so I live in Virginia and she lives in New Mexico. Is there something I can do, this far away? Please help!!

  29. sometimes we don't get a choice on who we get. It took me two months to get a therapist she did try to pass me on to another therapist who happens to be male. I can't see a male I have a good reason for that. I have been passed around so much like some unwanted parcel. Or what I call my self one for the to hard basket. joys of living in a small country town I had to go on a waiting list

  30. Awesome video as always!!
    i have little question..
    my therapist (that i have only met twice) told me that i have to stop purging no matter what. i have b/p episodes but i purge almost every thing i eat. so she told me to eat less(almost nothing) so i wont feel like i have to purge it. but i told her that even if i will eat small amount it can developed into binge, so she said:" so stop it, you can control it" . im so frustrate i feel like failure cause im still binging and purging. is that normal?

  31. i experience severe dissociation and there isn't a trauma therapist i can go to as i am in the UK and you cant choose etc so I'm just getting by with what I have. I find writing helps a lot of figure out what emotion it is I'm feeling and to understand it.

  32. Hey Kati do you have any advice on how to deal with parents that constantly drink and put me down because of my mental illness? Thanks for all you do.

  33. I am probably too late to this party… but wanted to say- I've been doing trauma therapy for 2 years now and am finally able to stay present in sessions! It has been a long and hard road but so soo worth it! I hope to see more videos with you both, it has been so helpful and encouraging!

  34. Awesome video. Dissociative symptoms are so frustrating, like walking around in a "fog" when things get overwhelming or being on constant autopilot. Fortunately my situation has improved dramatically over the years, but it still rears its ugly head now and then.

  35. I got more out of what Alexa said in this video than the 3 therapists i've seen over the years. No one understands that despite being able indentify triggers and understanding where they come from, i can't cope. I'm waiting for specialist trauma thereapy here in the UK, and im so worried that it will be the same story all over again, because i consiously and subconsiously hide my distress, and dissociate people see me as coping/managing or at worst avoiding being helped. I'm in such a bad place right now, i fee like i can't make anyone understand that theres really something wrong with me.

  36. One thing my therapist does to help with dissociation during trauma therapy is she gets me to stand on workout balance equipment, so I have to try and balance, and when I start to dissociate I'll lose my balance and it keeps me present

  37. I think i dissociate everytime in therapy cause i barley remember what i have said or what the trauma team has told me. I only remember some things. Like "you are here now-its 2017- you are safe". I hope this will get better so i can move on to the part of finding myself. Im so totally lost. Im no longer the child or the "protected" grown up….im a new me. Empty, dead inside, only a ballon filled with emotions i cant describe. What if the ballon burst? Im afraid.

  38. Can you please do a video on prolonged exposure therapy? I'm about to start it and I'm scared I won't be able to handle it because of my dissociation

  39. I'm surprised they didn't talk about health insurance not covering a visit to a trauma specialist and without the coverage a trauma specialist usually charges minimum $100/hour and up. That's been my experience. I have Medicare and Medicaid and the specialists don't take either.

  40. When I am having a PTSD moment disassociation almost relieves me and have found coming back to reality can actually be frightening even though I have been taught mindfullness is what is best it is scary to come back into reality is the best way to put it 4 me.

  41. Hi Kate I have seen a few of your videos and noticed there are a few that are question and answer. Where can we go to submit a question to you? I have a question I would like to ask you that I don't want to post on a public form

  42. It's more than offline. The body is someone else's, as are the thoughts/memories and feelings, almost like three distinct other people. There is a general hyper vigilance/tension/anxiety but the rest is kind of a numb dead zone like there's been an overload and the fuse connecting has blown. Talking is relatively easy after the first few times but letting anything said back in (even my words) is the problem. I've realized this has been a wall/barrier with my therapist (PTSD specialist) and asked him to find something new to try. EMDR apparently requires a supporting context )significant other, family, etc) which I don't have so he'S looking at other options. Needless to say, this has made mindfulness ( a new discovery to me) a little more frustrating but I'm continuing with it. Obviously, sleep is not easy to find, which doesn't help.

  43. Thank you for this video. I've wonder for the last few years why I couldn't find a therapist I've liked in years. This is what treatment I went through and it was amazing.

  44. Interesting–I have emotionally dissociated, but it didn't feel the way a lot of people describe dissociation. I can clinically describe really upsetting things or what I was thinking at different times, but it's really hard to connect that to my emotions and body. It's a coping mechanism I was taught since birth. But… I don't think it's the best way to cope!

  45. I was seeing my previous therapist for about three months before I actually could see her as real and not part of some dream. I also thought her room was much larger than it was and the furniture was at different places than where they really were. She was the best but six months in she got another job. I have felt devastated ever since. Now I am seeing a male therapist who is nice and good at what he does but I can't get past him being a male. I often can't recall our conversations unless he says something that triggers my memory. I'm just living each day as it comes.

  46. Dr. Alexa's insights were so helpful. It felt like someone was finally describing the struggles I have when in sessions, and you gave me some really good tips for recognizing when it's happening and what to do about it. I'm going to check out that website in your description and look more into somatic therapy. Thanks again!

  47. I live in the UK and I had a CBT group therapy where I'd dissociate. My therapist used to keep telling me "come back into the room, stay present" and I used to reply " I don't even know what that means" because I genuinely don't, I was never taught how to be present, or make myself present. Makes me wonder if I've been living my whole life in DP/DR due to childhood trauma and its just worsened significantly lately. Then again someone with DP would say that… stupid philosophizing ha!

  48. Just a warning ⚠️ to others many therapist CLAIM to treat in trauma however you really need to question do you SPECIALISE in TRUMA therapy and disassociation issues. Twice I have had a therapist say oh yes I treat trauma all the time but then due to disassociation they after a month and trust starts they sent me elsewhere. I now see a PSYCHOLOGIST who is amazing.

  49. Glad to hear this. I am remiss to ask. I forget I have the option to selfcare through external inquiries. Permission is key as I was taught. Asking permission is loaded with trauma for me.

  50. Can I have an Alexa, please 🙂 Dr.Alexa was right though, about how dissociation affects the client — I had TOO many uncomfortable sessions with awkward silences because I just physically couldn't speak, and I've stopped therapy now but I'm likely to want/need it later on and it's tough finding a way to get around not talking :L

  51. You should referr out….its true you are NOT trained in proper DID.
    I dislike bubblegum therapists
    Who do not know much, get vanity degrees that may get them licensure but are basically for the most part incompetent yet narcisstic.
    True DID especially if there is full blown MPD there are fully focused and present defense mechanisms that create an entire persona that may or may not known about. It's neurotic NOT a psychotic defense mechanism. As is ptsd. DID even advanced length dissasociative states are neurotic. We all disassociate from time to time. It is an organizing defense mechanism. No medication is required or needed.

    Don't say you are a trauma therapist as a niche…all therapists should be trained in trauma interventions. Typically this is why spott of people go to therapists.
    So get your icd10 codes right. Your DSM codes right. Because if you don't you are wasting time and potentially hurting your clients.

    Therapy has become a,social substitution for what used to be real trustworthy friendships. That is not what it was meant to be.

    Don't know where you got your training but the blonde looks like the people pleasing co dependant. If I were you I would redo this video.

  52. This video is so important. It helps educate and spread awareness regarding the most suitable/proper therapeutic approach to severe trauma and dissociative disorder(s). Thank-you Kati & Alexa 💜 Crucial information here!

  53. When highly irrated i occasionally
    realize I find myself opening the refrigerator when my intention is to open the bread drawer. The other day was intending do something in the kitchen but realized was in the laundry room.

  54. Hey kati and alexa, can cigaretes help u temporerly with disociation? To make u be present or smth likd that? Whats your opinion about that, pls share!

  55. In my country when I show my therapists videos and books about this because in Colombia there sre not specializations in trauma in any university… therapists see what I suggest them and they look at me like thinking " oh this is part of her mental ill, traying to tell the therapist how to do therapy". Frustrating.

  56. I had EMDR therapy for my postpartum depression and that's when I found out that I disassociate due to childhood trauma. EMDR was great for me because I didn't have to talk as much. It was slow going at first, but it has helped me a lot.


    I think about so much that I want to say, then when I get in the room with a psychologist, too often I'll start dissociating. Being emotophobic, my mind goes blank, I became physically and mentally uncoordinated, I can't remember even the most basic information…when I try to deal with emotions. The best sessions usually are when the topic goes in a completely different direction to what I thought. It's every bit as expensive as it is frustrating. The pressure to use my extremely limited re$ource$ snowballs….along with the anxiety & dissociation!

    I've been thinking about writing down everything and handing it to the psychologist!

  58. There are no resources for Veterans in my community. Full stop. So far as intimacy treatment goes, the VA offers Viagra. What should we do if there are no specialists?

  59. Thanks for sharing. Ill forward parta
    of this post to my therapist. Hitting a brick wall during sessions says more about the incompetence of a therapist.

  60. Thank you so much for this video! I just watched it for the first time and this put so many words to things I have not been able to describe.

  61. Great to see this video, I posted about understanding Peter Levine on another video. So great to share this learning

  62. I know you must get a lot of messages but would really appreciate an answer as I've googled and googled without being able to find relevant info and I'm currently at the beginning of a year long wait list for yet more therapy (psychoanalytic) so don't have anyone to ask… I used to suffer from derealisation, but I don't really have that issue anymore. The problem I face in therapy is that they often ask me to describe what I think, but I don't know, although I can make an educated guess of what my subconscious may potentially be saying. They then ask me to describe how I feel, again I don't know. Then it's what sensations there are in my body but my body feels numb? I practice mindfulness and can notice sensations at normal times, but when I try to pinpoint sensations during times of distress, I can't feel anything. I'm just concerned this will hinder my therapy going forward. Do you have any techniques I can practice to get around this in the meantime? Also if you know anyone in the UK especially around London that helps in that area I'd really appreciate their info too. Thanks.

  63. Treatments that worked for you guys? Comment please I’m 14 and I’m not trying to deal with this for my whole life

  64. "When we are in it?" I am in it 24-7. Every waking second and minute of my life!!! For 5 years now and it is getting worse..
    What should i do? Is there even a point with therapy for me? And what type of therapy? I have complex PTSD not ordinary PTSD.

  65. All therapists should be given trauma therapists training. It is the commest common mental health condition, IMHO.
    There is no way that a low-income person will get a specialist. They will either get some intern or a cold psychiatrist who dispenses meds. Unless you have bucks, this advice is not useful in the USA, except to let some of us know that we are not unusual in having talk therapy not work for us,,

  66. I have major memory loss because of it. I cannot do math, English, history, or science. It's like I never watched TV or listened to music growing up. It's like I've been in the dark my entire life. I remember learning these things and doing these things but I don't know these things. Makes life for myself seem foreign and out of place.

  67. I am seeing a trauma therapist. I've seen her three sessions so far and I've been honest about thinking I have BPD. Well she is telling me I have split personality, but not DID because I remember everything. This has upset me greatly because I don't know if she's right. I'm just me. Last session she said she saw me split three times. I thought splitting in bpd was merely black and white thinking, not actually showing different personalities. Do you know what she may be talking about

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